Who Would Win in a Fight: Dan Snyder v. Al Davis

We all know the craziness of Al Davis. His team is a mess and he is surely not really alive. I never thought we would be legitimately able to argue another owner in the league was crazier…but then…Dan Snyder decided to not only continue to ruin the Redskins – but completely piss in the face of his fan-base.

This article detailing the sign-police crackdown at the last MNF football game is flat out insane. The security guards have been told that no t-shirts badmouthing Dan Snyder are allowed and must be turned inside-out – like when kids wore Marlyn Manson shirts back in middle school.

So – we know Al Davis is a Zombie and Dan Snyder -all 5’2″ of him – might make me turn this blog post inside out…but who would win in a fight?

Who Would Win in a Fight: Weis v. McDaniels

Take this fantasy showdown of Belichick disciples. One one side we have the pear shaped, lawsuit losing, still can’t recruit defensive players, and did I mention fat…Charlie Weis. On the other side is the new Jesus. Who ya got and why?

Here was gargs take:

McDaniels over Wies: another no brainer.  charlie is a fat motherfucker with a reconstructed knee.  his only advantage would be to strip down naked to gross out mcdaniels and prevent mcdaniels from actually touching him. actually, that might be a great strategy.  i change my mind, i’ll take weis, but only if he’s naked.

My Counter:

Before the Patriots game – I thought Weis’s pure weight advantage would be too much – I mean look at McD’s size. But If he can direct a few of those energetic fist-pumps right into that tremendous FUPA – he has a good chance to disorient the big guy.

FUPA!

Who Would Win in A Fight: Lion v. Gorilla

And now….I would like to resurrect the age old argument (fought about for many hours in college) about who would win in a fight? (actually – if you type lion v. gorilla into google – you already get a whole ton of ridiculous chat boards, etc. (even a tv show) about this…but its more fun off the top of the head without any “real facts” to back it up)

For our general arguments…let us turn to this e-mail exchange I recently had with a friend from ACE who wishes to remain anonymous so we will call him John G.

Gargs: “a lion would destroy a gorilla.  they are faster, more agile, and have claws.  no brainer really.”

Me: “really…lets think this through. The only way they actually fight is if the lion is the aggressor/Gorilla needs to protect its young, etc. At this point, the gorilla has more to play for and with one strong swing of itsarms, its superior strength would knock a lion down with a stunning blow. Then, the Gorilla could contiue to make blows to vital organs, head etc. The claws would have little effect on the thick fur/skin and the faster/agility advantage is minimal and negated by the strength. I ultimaltey make the intelligence the deciding factor. Gorilla…but not in a landslide”

Battle it out in the comments…or just watch this stupid video that I will never actually watch that is actually a leapord…but whatever